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For Single & Married Women {& An Apology}

true beauty{image credit: TimeWarpWife.com}


First, let me open with an apology.  On Monday, we began the week on your reading plan, titled “Your Marriage.”  As a blogger, I came to my keyboard and wrote a blog post about the assigned passage of reading for the day and… your marriage.  I hit publish and then it all began.

I got some emails from women saying they were disappointed in me.  I got a few comments from women on the post asking how a single woman should process this. And we had some women in hard marriages or in the midst of divorce, who grappled deeply with our reading for the day.  And I know that I put many leaders in a difficult position on Monday, as you were left to help the women in your groups, who were upset with Monday’s post.

{Bless you leaders – I truly love you and thank God for you.  I have been praying for you after my obvious flub!!!}

What I want to apologize for is my insensitivity.  I have written for nearly 6 years on the topic of marriage over at my blog, WomenLivingWell.org . So I am used to a mostly married audience and I did not consider my audience here. I wrote like I always do – and honestly sweet readers – I feel terrible about it.  It really tore me up that I could be so insensitive.  I pray you will accept my sincere apology.

So, I’m thankful for second chances and Wednesdays at GMG.

It doesn’t matter what age you are, what color of skin or hair you have, what your marital status is or your work status or if you have a large family or no family – Jesus loves you!

You matter.

You are valuable.

And you were created to reflect God’s glory.

Keeping the above in mind, let’s move into today’s reading.

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Marriage is a temporary covenant but what it represents is eternal.  The wife submitting to her husband, is to be a picture of how the church submits to Christ.  The husband loving his wife unconditionally, is to be a picture of how Christ unconditionally loves the church. So an application question for those who are married would be, what does your marriage reveal about Christ and the church?  Does it reflect this truth?

In heaven, there will not be marriage (Matthew 22:23-30),  so whether we are married or single, it is our relationship with Christ that is eternal.

The key — do not idolize one role over another.  We must not idolize singleness (I Corinthians 7:7), the role of the wife or motherhood.  All of these roles are temporary.  Just because I am married today – does not mean I will be married tomorrow.  Tragedy could strike at my house and through a serious accident, both my husband and children could die.  This would rock my world – and move me from being a married mother – to a single widow.  The roles of a woman are not permanent and so we must never take pride or be in despair over them.  Rather we must daily live to the glory of God wherever God has planted us.

I have seen deep suffering in singles who long to be married and sadly, I have seen deep suffering in wives who long to get out of their marriages.  Life is hard, the grass is not always greener and the fight for joy and contentment is a lifelong endeavor for all women.

God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply – but unless someone is “born again” they are not saved. (John 3).  God’s kingdom does not grow through marriage and procreation.  God’s kingdom grows through regeneration.  This is an equal calling on all women’s lives – both the married and single.  We are called to go into all the world and preach the gospel and make disciples.

Let’s unite together around this truth and pray God opens doors to build his kingdom through all of us!

Thank you for your grace and allowing me to try again at my marriage post for the week.  I love you all so very very much.

May God use you mightily in the place he has you today.

Walk with the King,

Courtney, WomenLivingWell.org

**I originally planned to post some Valentine’s Day ideas in this post.  I now see how insensitive that would have been.  So instead – let me share a few links from my blog for married women who might be interested in more on marriage:

3 Valentines Day Ideas for your Husband
10 Creative Ways to Say “I Love You” to Your Husband
Kiss Your Way to a Better Marriage
What If Your Husband is Not a Believer?
How to Maintain Your Marriage When Your Husband Travels
When You’ve Lost Your Joy in the Midst of Marriage and Motherhood
5 Qualities of a Kind Wife
The Proverbs 31 Woman – One Virtue At a Time

Week 4 – Your Marriage {Intentionally Focused}


Intentionally Focused Week 4

Last Tuesday night, over 3 million people tuned into the Evolution vs. Creation Debate, between Bill Nye the “Science Guy” and Ken Ham the “founder of the Creation Museum”.  How relevant this debate is to our passage today.

You see, if we do not believe that Genesis 1 is truth – then our reading in Genesis 2 is irrelevant.

Hebrews 11:1-3 says:

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  This is what the ancients were commended for.  By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

It is by faith, that we believe God spoke the world into existence.  Without creation – there is no Adam, no Eve, no sin nature and no need for a Savior.  Essentially, God’s word is not God’s word.  And so by faith, we believe God created Adam and Eve.

In Genesis 2 we find the role of the wife defined and that is what today’s 2 minute video is about:

(if you cannot see the video – click here)


Don't miss this blessing

I know that these are not easy words for a modern woman of today to accept.  But, it is so completely beautiful when we live out God’s plan for marriage.

Sometimes we are tempted to think the grass is greener in other marriages.  We imagine that someone has something better than we have, and we want it.  We can’t see the dirt from our angle.  And possibly the grass is super green in the front yard, but in the backyard it’s filled with dead spots that are hidden from acquaintances.

To be honest, the neighbors on both sides of us literally have greener grass.  They both have in-ground sprinklers and spend time tending to their yards.  Their yards look gorgeous!  Ours, on the other hand, gets burned out by the sun every summer and the only green spots are where the neighbors’ sprinklers spray onto our yard. Lol!  We could have exactly what our neighbors have if we would simply water and tend to our grass!

This same principle applies in marriage.  Before we jump ship or sit in discontentment, I wonder if we watered and tended to our marriages, if we could be the ones with the greener marriages!

Here’s How to Water Your Marriage:

1.) Accept the fact that all marriages are flawed.

As Dr. Gary Chapman says, “Conflicts are not a sign that you have married the wrong person.  They simply affirm that you are human.”

2.) Make your husband second priority only to God.

Flip-flop your priorities so your marriage is not coming in dead last, and you will find grass that looks burned start to grow green again.

3.) Set aside a regular date night (even if you can’t leave your home, declare a special evening after the kids are in bed).

Spend some time just enjoying your husband.  Hold hands, steal kisses, talk, and listen.  Slow down and enjoy each other as you did during the dating days!

4.) Smile at your husband.

A genuine smile is simple but irresistible.

5.)  If your grass is looking brown in some spots, tend specifically to those spots with prayer.

Do not let it go dormant and die! If necessary, seek professional counseling to find ways to water the burned areas and help them grow again.

6.) Do not neglect your marriage and assume that it will grow all on its own.

Just as my brown grass is not going to turn green on its own, my marriage isn’t going to flourish on its own.  To stay healthy, your marriage needs your attention.  Discipline yourself to tend to it.

~excerpt from the book, Women Living Well:Finding Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids & Your Home

Week 4: Reading Plan

Week 4

Week 4: Memory VerseMemoryVerse-04

This week’s Challenge:

We all have husbands with different needs.  Don’t miss the blessing of being a helper to your husband.    What are some areas you already help your husband in?  What are some areas where you could work to be a better source of support and encouragement?

Walk with the King,

Courtney, WomenLivingWell.org


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