It was January 2010, and a massive earthquake had just shattered the streets and lives of Haiti.  And while the world watched the struggling country’s tragedy unfold, an internal struggle was going on inside of me.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” ~ Luke 16:10

I had been praying for God to change me.

Ever feel like you’re in a slump, and you’re not even sure why?  That was me.  Spiritually, emotionally, even physically.

But by His grace, God used the events in Haiti to catch my attention that day.  From my journal:

I can’t do one thing throughout the day without the pictures

of devastation flooding my mind.

I think of the dark, sad eyes of rubble-covered, filthy orphans

when I wipe my baby’s face.

I scrape the extra food off of her highchair and think of their hunger.

I cringe at a paper cut and then remember their wounds. Their pain.

I climb into my comfortable bed and pray for them to be able to sleep,

somehow, under the stars.

I get overwhelmed with the clutter of toys, while they yearn for the basic necessities of life.

I long for a moment of peace in the midst of a chaotic full house,

and think of those who long to have their loved ones back.

My mind went back to 1995, when I stood on those dirt roads, handing out pencils and gum and hope to hungry, hurting children. When life was much simpler and mercy seemed to come more quickly for me. My mind wasn’t cluttered with the things of this world as much. At least not that week of Spring Break, when I got to witness for the first time what life – and poverty – was like outside of my small college world.

While I was working my tail off to avoid taking out student loans, people were starving to death in that small little village in Haiti.

A good friend named Tyler (who would later become my husband) was on that trip too. We sat on the steps outside our apartment building together each night, listening to the Voodoo chants of the neighboring village. We sat in pure darkness; no electricity since the generators had already shut down for the night. He would play guitar. We would sing a little, then pray a little. And wonder how a place – a people – that was so lost, could ever find God.

And now, all these years later, I’m thankful that it’s God who does the finding.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.  Though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging…” ~ from Psalm 46

Not that the crisis was about me, but God was doing a work in me because of it. He answered my prayers and my pleading for His Word to come alive to me in a fresh, new way. I wanted to long for it like I did on those Haitian steps almost eighteen years ago. Overwhelmed with grief and the guilt of my selfishness, I sat on my bathroom floor during one nap time with tears streaming down my face, soaking up the Psalms as I read them aloud. God met me there. And His Word did come alive.

It had been too long.

When had I become so discontent in all of God’s provision for me?  When did I stop managing well all that God had entrusted to my care?

 Something had to change.

A few nights later, I sat on my bed, grabbed hands and formed a circle with my husband and three boys, and one by one, we lifted up the people of Haiti to the One who is our “ever-present help.”  It was the first of many nights that we began consistently, passionately praying again for someone – something - other than ourselves.  And it felt good.  Really good. A baby step to be sure, but a freeing one out of our self-absorbancy and pride.

I watched a few days later as my boys – all on their own – raided their Ziploc bags full of lost-teeth-and-birthday-money. They marked separate tithe envelopes “for Haiti,” and stuffed in their money, in a most unorganized way. Later we sat and looked at pictures of Haiti online, and my oldest, convicted and full of compassion, brought down another dollar. Their nineteen dollars seemed so minuscule, but for the work it did in their hearts? Priceless.

I remember thinking, “I don’t want to forget all of this a week from now.” And I still pray against forgetting every.single.day.  When it’s clear that it’s not about me and I’ve had little sleep and my patience is not what it should be.

I want to live changed, so that I can live a life that’s faithful.

Don’t you?

He changes lives, you know. The very God who created the universe. Who allows things that we don’t understand to fulfill His plan and purpose.  And He’ll meet you where you are. Even if it’s a bathroom floor, or a pit that you think you’ll never get out of.  If you’ll let Him.

Oh to be changed, so that we will be faithful in little, so that we can be faithful in much.

Jesus, help me not to forget…

At His feet,

Investing in the Kingdom of God with the money we have been given on earth…

Are you doing it? Am I doing it?  Luke 16 forces us to take a good hard look at how we view money as followers of Jesus.

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” ~ Luke 16:9

Now I know what some of you might be thinking… not the “money talk” again.  Let me encourage you to resist sneaking out of the back of the “sanctuary” this week while everyone else’s eyes are closed during prayer.   Money is a touchy subject, yet a hugely important part of our daily lives.  And it drives and consumes the world - and often us – so much, that God knew He’d have to talk about it a LOT in His Word.  When something (like money) is repeated so many times in the Bible, if we’re wise, we’ll settle into our pews, and open our ears and hearts to what He has to say…

{If you are unable to see this video, you can view it here.}

Some of you might be frustrated today, thinking, “If money wasn’t so tight for me right now, I’d give it to God in a heartbeat.”   Let me encourage you with John MacArthur’s words regarding investing in eternity:

“The truth is circumstances don’t determine faithfulness, character does. You hear people say, “If I had more I’d give more.” No you wouldn’t. It doesn’t matter how much you have. The widow who had nothing gave everything. People who have everything give nothing. It’s never about circumstances. It’s a view of heaven and a view of earth. It’s a perspective that has captured your heart.” ~ John MacArthur

What is capturing your heart today, friend?  The things of this world, that are so very temporary and will ultimately fade away?  Or the things of God, which produce an eternity of reward in heaven one day?

At His feet,

{Week 8} Weekly Challenge: Take a few minutes to make a list detailing where your money is going.  Are there obvious eternity investments, or do the majority of your finances go towards earthly gain?  Pray that God would show you any needed adjustments, and ask Him to give you strength to put your faith and your finances into action to further His Kingdom this week!

 {Week 8} Reading Plan:

{Week 8} Memory Verse:

{What does my girl do after a rain storm? Why, catch worms, name them, and place them on her night stand for nap time, of course!}

I have a passionate pray-er in my house.  She’s small, but she’s spunky, and this girl doesn’t mess around.

Her view of God might be limited by her four year old intellect, but her view of God also isn’t tainted by the world.  She has big faith - a kind of child-like faith that I long for most days.  This girl consistently trusts God to do big things.  You know, because He’s God, and that’s obviously what He does.

She prays for everyone and everything with an unapologetic passion that puts me to shame.  And when she asks for something in prayer - get this – she actually believes that God is so powerful that He can do it.

When did I get so cynical and unbelieving in my prayer life?

We know when we ask her to pray at dinnertime that we’d better plan on eating our food cold, because she prays until she’s out of breath and can’t think of one last person or thing to pray for.  She prays for every single family member, both near and far away.  She prays that she would obey God with her whole heart.  That she would love and serve and bless others.  She prays for friends who are hurting and for friends who don’t even have a need.  For strength for the flowers that are trying to pop through the dirt, and for protection for the worms who hang out on our driveway after the rain.

This girl might be small, but she has a big, big view of God.

Why do I so often forget how big my God really is?

We adults can sure make life complicated.  With our out-of-order priorities, our painful efforts to be completely self-sufficient, and the “necessity” to be realists in a messed up world, we begin to minimalize the great and unmatched power of the one, true God.

The God who can take something small like a mustard seed, and grow it into greatness.

I am small, but He… He is mighty.

And just when I begin to think that the world might be winning, He reminds me that the greatness of His Kingdom doesn’t rest on my feeble human strength or abilities.  Sometimes He reminds me through His creation.  Sometimes it’s through His Word.  And yes, sometimes even through a spunky four year-old, He reminds me that…

He’s got this.  His purposes will prevail. His Kingdom will reign. He has the power to change even the hardest of hearts. He will continue to grow what is small into something tall, stable and strong. Because He’s God.  And that’s what He does.

Don’t be confused, though.  Beginnings that start with little seeds don’t give us permission to be stuck in little faith.  When we realize who we are, and who God is, only then can we step out of the way, and confidently let Him do His work.  Oh, that my faith would become that of a child’s…

Once powerless, now full of power.

Once weak, now made strong.

Once useless, but now with great purpose.

All because He lives in me. 

Have you lost faith that God still moves in powerful ways among us today? 

Look to Jesus, whose humble beginnings started off small.  And just when it looked like the world might be winning, He defeated death, rose victorious, and His Kingdom grew. 

“Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to?  It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.” ~ Luke 13:18-19

God grows things from small beginnings.  How big is your God?  

Jesus, grow my faith.

At His feet,

It’s been an overwhelmingly sad week as we’ve heard of one tragedy after another in the news.  As I sat on the edge of my eleven year old’s bed the other night, in frustration, he asked the questions out loud that too, have entered my mind and my silent prayers, but I’ve not dared let slip from my lips…

Why does God allow evil things to happen?

Why can’t Jesus just come back and save us from all of this?

I hear you, buddy.  Oh, believe me, I do.  But after explaining that God is Sovereign, and that His ways are higher than our ways, I realized that as a believer, it’s easy to become paralyzed in the midst of tragedy.

We ask questions instead of trusting.

We point out the sin of others instead of reflecting on our own hearts.

We turn to fear of the unknown instead of running to truth.

We focus on the world instead of our Savior.

I wonder how much time in the last week we’ve spent reading articles, watching the news and engaging in conversations regarding the latest tragedies.  And I wonder how that compares to the time we’ve spent in God’s Word and on our knees, crying out to God for repentance.

Luke Chapter 13 begins with it’s own stories of tragedies, and Jesus is quick to remind us that before we make judgments on someone else’s life, we’d better take a hard look at our own…

“But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” ~ Luke 13

{If you’re unable to see this video, you can view it here.}

I am so thankful that in the midst of the tragedies in this world, and in the tragedy of our sin, in Jesus there is hope and new life!

Where are you landing today, friend?  Are you stuck in tragedy, or alive in Jesus?

Week 5 Challenge: When you find yourself “stuck” in hopelessness due to the weight of the world, open your Bible and replace thoughts of sadness and fear with verses that tell of the hope and new life that we have access to in Christ (Don’t know where to start?  Look in your Bible’s concordance or Google: “Bible Verses on Hope”).  Then, when conversations regarding tragedy come up, offer God’s words of hope to others!

At His feet,

Week 5 Reading Plan:

Week 5 Memory Verse: