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Building Your Home


Photo by Werner Kunz

We already talked about the need for us to reach out to others. But a part of the ministry that God has prepared for us is found within the four walls of our homes.

The verse for today is a sobering truth. A woman has the power to destroy her home, or create a dwelling that is beautiful and strong.

The Christian’s home should be a sanctuary to those who live there; a place where people are safe from the seductions of the world, where the weary find rest, the sad find comfort, and where character is formed. The home should be joyful, peaceful, and filled with love.

Does this describe your home? No? Well, It doesn’t describe mine either. Not that often. It is easy to look at our homes, see all the things that are not meeting this standard, and feel discouraged and frustrated. But God has not left us alone and without help or hope in home-building!

But how does a wise woman build a home that is God-honoring and uplifting to those who walk in the front door? Here are two ways.

Build it on God’s Word

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man
who built his house on the rock.”
Mt. 7:24

Like the whole of our spiritual life, to build a godly home means building it on the foundation of God’s word. Such a home will remain strong and healthy even in the midst of storms and struggles. But to do this we must first begin with a little deconstruction–repentance. We must tear down and turn away from all those things we have built in our homes that threaten them. Maybe it is our attitudes, our words, our actions, or the absence of love. Notice I’m talking about us here.

It is so easy to find fault with everyone else who lives in our homes from the behaviour of our children to the attitude of our spouses. But as we focus on the shortcomings of others we begin to become complaining, nagging, critical, and discontented women.  Building a godly home begins with repentance and continues with pursuing godliness.

We’ve all heard the idea that the woman sets the tone of the home. There is much truth in this. Therefore we need to examine ourselves and where we need to grow. What virtues are we lacking? Are we kind, patient, gracious, fun, calm, attentive, hard working, loving, affectionate, and generous? I know I’m not, and yet the word of God calls me to this for his glory, my good, and the good of those around me.

Without the word of God we cannot build, or rebuild our homes, into happy, healthy dwelling places.

Keep Jesus at The Center

It is a mistake commonly made today when children become the center of the home. Where schedules and priorities revolve around their interests and desires. It is equally as dangerous when the home revolves around the father or the mother. You see, even though I believe that my husband is the head of our home, and that we work together to lead our children well, there is one Lord over all things, including our home. Jesus must be the center of our home, or we are making someone or something else the priority. What does this mean?

For Jesus to be the center of our homes means that the priorities and pursuits, and the rhythms and rituals, of our homes are done in light of his presence and worthiness. It means that for me, as a wife and mother, I am not only serving my family, but my God, in what I do.

Practically speaking we keep Jesus at the center of our homes when we keep him at the center of our own lives. When we are submitting to his word, following his ways, and seeking his glory.

Home is the true wife’s kingdom. There, first of all places, she must be strong and beautiful. She may touch life outside in many ways, if she can do it without slighting the duties that are hers within her own doors. These are hers, and no other one’s.
- JR. Miller

Looking to Jesus,







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  1. Thank you for ending the week with this message, Jen! It’s never a coincidence when God speaks just the right words at just the right time, and for me, He did that this morning through you.

    I *thought* that I had given myself over whole-heartedly to my first and most important ministry here in our home, but as this week has unraveled, chains have come to light that I never before realized were holding me. I’ve been so stuck on several ideas that God has given me in the way of ministering to others that it has shaped my attitude into one of, “My job in the home is not good enough. My family is not good enough. I am not good enough.” Thoughts like these are like poison to the soul, and satan definitely uses them as a stronghold over us when we let him.

    I love how you encourage us to examine ourselves first and foremost–not our husbands, or our children, but OURSELVES. It’s enough to knock me to my knees in prayer and repentance right in this moment! A key word hat I’ve been seeing a lot in relation the Proverbs 31 woman is ‘strength.’ I’m going into this weekend challenged to free myself of everything that makes me weak, and to in turn fill my cup with only The One who makes me STRONG.

    Thank you again! This study has been such a blessing!

  2. I wanted to respond to this writing because it was so good and so timely for me. I had a realization just last night while doing Made to Crave by Lysa Tereurst, that I have been feeling for a LONG time that since I never got to go to college or have a Big career or even an “important” ministry that I wasn’t making my mark on the world, I wasn’t doing much that mattered. That is a lie straight from satan. God gave me my family and I am called to care for them. I did do that and I loved it but just always had that underlyng feeling that I wasn’t doing enough in the world. That attitude is changing! I have 4 great kids that are all almost grown and my first grandbaby on the way in the fall. Halleluah!

    Also I am going to GraceLife counseling to begin the work of “getting the log out of my own eye before trying to see the speck” in my spouse’s. I am just beginning this new journey. I have spent years trying to get my husband to be the Spiritual leader of our family, I’ve tried to show him what he should do and how and he just never would take the reins. I understand the concept that I am not his Holy Spirit but I thought I was being his “helper”. Boy, has that not worked! We are “separated” in our own home now. We rarely speak, and never touch. It’s so sad. So I began the counseling on my own. He’s not interested.

    I appreciate the words you have for women. Keep encouraging them!!

  3. Hi Laura:
    I left college after earning my A.S. and left the corporate world to stay home and raise children. I thought for many years that my husband lost respect for me because I was no longer contributing to the household income, but recently (upon finding my way back to The Lord) I realized it was my attitude…I lost respect for myself because I felt like I wasn’t worth anything anymore. I also felt like I wasn’t impacting the world in any way by being a SAHM. I’ve now realized that my impact on the world is bringing up three future members of society!

  4. Cynthia says:

    What a great article for me this morning. I have to say that since I got a job a few weeks ago I have gotten better with my attitude at home. I do The Lord as the center of my life and home. I really needed this message today so that I can continue working on building a Avery happy and Christ like family.

  5. Jenny~ I want to encourage you on your path. I have been through a very similar circumstance for what felt like years. God is able to fix things that are broken and make it stronger and more beautiful than ever before. My husband and I did counseling, but we also read through the Love Dare together. I encourage you to do that even if it is just you at the time. I’ll be praying for you and your husband and I claim victory for your marriage in Jesus name!

  6. Sorry, that was for Laura!

  7. Jen….I love the love, wisdom and grace you share with us each Friday! Thank you friend for helping me love Jesus more and more!

  8. I really appreciate your words and I’m so glad I read this today. I missed it last week. Thank you for the great encouragement!

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