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When Your Husband is Not Ready to Pray “Anything”

when your husband is not ready

This week’s video with Jennie Allen touched on a big issue for so many women.

What do we do when our husband is not ready to pray “Anything“?

A reader asked – is praying all we can do?  Jennie answers this question for us and Angela shares an area where she and her husband are in different places (with the permission of her husband) in today’s video:

 

(if you cannot see this video – click here)

I loved where Jennie said:

“I think when wives decide “this is what it looks like to be spiritual” our husbands can feel shut down because they are working their tail off in obedience to God to provide for us and we’re sitting there writing it off like it’s no big deal at all.”

Isn’t this our tendency? We forget to be grateful for the everyday things our husbands are doing because we get focused on the one thing they are not doing. Then our discontentment with our husband and marriage begins to grow.  Before long we have slipped into a place of sin when our true goal was unity toward godliness!

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” ~ I Timothy 6:6

Contentment is godliness. And contentment will speak volumes to our husband.

We can have joy in our marriage when we are not able to see our “Anything” dreams fulfilled because our joy does not come from circumstances but from the Lord.

Be strong friends. Keep praying and waiting on the Lord.

Walk with the King,

Courtney, WomenLivingWell.org

 

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Comments

  1. Amen!! I’m in a situation where I’m a Christian and my husband is not. I still have prayed ‘Anything’ to God because I know He will just work in my life where He is able at the moment. And you know what? I’ve seen my husband start chatting casually about God and Jesus where before he made no mention of anything spiritual at all. We’ve also started socialising with the Pastor of my church and his wife (who is a dear friend of mine). I can see the Lord working in small ways to bring my husbamd and myself into unity and if ‘Anything’ for us takes years and years then I’m okay with that because God’s timing IS perfect and right now I’m finding amazing joy in loving and submitting to both God and my husband and I have never been happier.

    • Amen, sweet sister! I’m in the same boat you are. And our GOD is so amazingly, unswervingly, unerringly, incomparably, totally, completely GOOD!

  2. In the past, when my husband and I disagreed I would clean the house. It was a great way to expend my energy but I was always still upset with my husband. Recently, God has laid upon my heart to iron my husband’s work shirts when I am upset with him. This may seem trivial but understand that I don’t iron every. We have an ironing board and an iron because houses are suppose to have them. But I don’t use them. However, when I iron my husband’s work shirts I am reminded of how hard he works to provide for our family, of how much he tries to do what is right for us and for God. I am also reminded that it isn’t the most important thing that we agree but that we come to an agreement about issues in our lives. It is difficult to stay angry when you are serving the person who upset you. I am so thankful that God has given me a Christian husband who is willing to serve Him and do what is right for our family.

  3. Oh wow. Courtney, as soon as you started to speak about contentment, I started crying. The Lord has used you this morning to show me how horribly selfish I’ve been acting toward my husband. You are right about contentment speaking volumes. THANK YOU!!! I will be praying seriously about my heart and mind in this area AND working on living out contentment, too!!

    His
    Shari

  4. Denise M says:

    And what if our “Anything” is to be content with where we are? What if we are seeking something we think is greater (to adopt, to go to a foreign field, to sell all and move, etc. etc.) , but that’s not what God wants of us? He may want our “Anything” to be content with what we have – where we are – with the life that we are currently living – and not to think we have to do something radical in order to be right with Him. Our “Anything” may be that we have to stop thinking that, in order to serve Christ and have a right relationship with Him, we have to do something big and glamorous. I have come to realize in this study that for me, my “Anything” is to continue to do what I am doing and not think that I have to make drastic changes in order to serve God – to be content with what I am doing where I am.

  5. “I think when wives decide “this is what it looks like to be spiritual” our husbands can feel shut down because they are working their tail off in obedience to God to provide for us and we’re sitting there writing it off like it’s no big deal at all.”

    There is much truth to this statement. My husband is seeking after God and is growing in a way that looks different than the way God is growing me. I struggled with this for awhile. I know I’m growing but if his walk doesn’t look like mine, is he really growing? Pride. It wasn’t until I began praying for my husband in this area… well you know how that goes, you pray for somebody else and God changes you. I began to see very specific ways that God had been transforming him. “Little things” that were indicative of a heart change. Let’s not sell our husbands short.

  6. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this. I have been feeling very selfish in my marriage lately and only focusing on my husbands shortcomings, while having a pity party for myself. This really helped give me perspective and to remind me what is truly important. THANK YOU!!!!!

  7. So much wisdom here! I love Courtney’s challenge at the end to pursue contentment. That’s a good word. :)

  8. I love this particular day! Thank you for addressing this question….its helps to know that it is a common question. I am wrestling hard here and needing to hear Gods voice, which is sounding so much like “your anything? Right where you are in your marriage, quietly submitting to Me.” The problem is… This is the hardest place for me to give and the least ‘visible’. This whole Anything process is sooooo much about sanctifying transformation…. Good stuff ladies. Thanks again.

  9. What a great reminder to be content – thank you!

  10. Stacey Taylor says:

    all I can think is “who am I to think that it is my husband who is NOT ready”…perhaps it is me that is not in unity with God and my husband. Perhaps it is not the right time…watching my countenance and security in what I believe the Lord wants for us. Just because I don’t “feel” like we are moving as a couple does not mean that the seeming rejection was not Gods protection all along.

  11. Yolanda says:

    Loved the discussion, this is a confirmation where I am in my spiritual walk with God. Love the comment contentment is godliness. Thank you so much, May God continue to bless you all.

  12. I’m really grateful that I came across this today. I have felt the frustration lately of feeling divided in our marriage. So many time I’m quick to point the finger at him, thinking that he’s supposed to be the leader in our home, so if something’s wrong, HE NEEDS TO FIX IT! But honestly my complaining and pressuring is the clearest example of my need to find contentment. I don’t blame him for not being “all in” with me in pursuing God. Clearly, through my example, nearness to God isn’t all that great because I’m still so unhappy. It’s important for us to realize that our husbands are not the ones who bring wholeness, and if we’re waiting on them to be that, we will never be on the same page.

  13. Contentment and Surrender were two words that I found comforting to be included in this conversation. As the “doer” in this marriage, I am likely to go off without my logical wits about me without the input of my “thinker” husband. I so appreciated the call to fight hard to be in unity and, especially, to pray that God would allow us to function as a healthy TEAM.

    A wise mentor once told me, “Honey, your husband has The Holy Spirit. And guess what? You aren’t it!” Such truth that I sometimes lose perspective on in my desire to move/go/do.

  14. What about when your husband isn’t willing to pray at all? It is difficult to be the spiritual head when you are the woman, but that is the situation I find myself in, and it divides us often. My goals and dreams are not the same as his!

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