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Practical Ways To Do Good To Our Husbands {Link-Up}

 

 

One thing I hope you feel with Good Morning Girls is that we are real women, in real marriages with real children. We are not perfect, nor do we hope to be. We are all women who are daily in need of a savior and who are thankful for the grace and love that He gives us.

Sometimes I think you just need to hear that.

We have disagreements with our husbands, struggle to hear God’s voice at times and stress over our children…..we are real.

Today I’m going to try and get really practical with you……bringing God’s Word to our everyday application.

On Monday we read that the Proverbs 31 woman brings her husband good, not harm, all the days of her life. We also read how Solomon’s wives turned his heart toward other gods.

Main point: As wives we have tremendous influence over our husbands. We can use our influence, as we’ve seen in these two verses, for good or for harm.

I believe wives don’t intentionally bring harm to their husbands….but that’s not the issue, the issue is that we can….and we sometimes do.

Here are just a few ways we can unintentionally harm our husbands:

Proverbs 31:12- She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

1. By withholding forgiveness
2. By withholding love
3. Expecting to much….our husbands aren’t perfect just like we aren’t perfect.
4. Not telling the truth in love.
5. With our words and tone.
6. With our attitudes
7. By not praying over them……if you’re not going to pray over him, then who will?
8. By withholding sex…..
9. By fixing unhealthy meals

Are you guilty in any of those areas? I know I am……I’m convicted as I read over this list. But you know what, we have a choice. We can choose to do better today….with God’s help we can choose to focus on doing good to our husbands…..remembering that when we do good to them, we are doing good to our Lord.

Here are a few ways we can bring good to our husbands:

1. By not talking bad about them behind their backs.
2. By showing them respect in front of our children and others.
3. By fixing healthier meals
4. Praying over them…..for them to be the leaders of our homes, men of integrity and character.
(Note: If you need help knowing how to pray over your husband I highly recommend Stormie Omartian’s book: The Power of a Praying Wife.)
5. Speaking truth in LOVE…..our husbands are not mind readers and yes they do have feelings so words do hurt them even if they act like they don’t.
6. Forgive…….
7. Initiate sex……plan dates for the two of you…..make sure you spend time together without the kiddos.
8. Realize that he’s human……give him grace.
9. Smile at him……I know it sounds crazy but seriously who doesn’t love being sincerely smiled at.
10. Be intentional with him….find out what you can do to help make him feel loved. Ask him…“What can I do that will make you feel loved and respected?”
11. Give him down time when he first gets home.
Sweet sisters let me encourage you today with this quote:

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can,
In all the ways you can, in all the places you can,
At all the times you can, to all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.
- John Wesley

 

Let me encourage you to read the story of Abigail….she was the wife to a difficult man…..like some of you, she was in a difficult marriage, still she choose to be good to him. She is described as “the good angel of Nabal’s household” and you can find her story in 1 Samuel 25.

 

Again we come back to the question, how can we be a Proverbs 31 wife? By keeping our eyes on Jesus.

 

Remember, we are in a war. Whether we like it or not, we are in a battle, a battle for our marriages. Cling to Jesus, stay in God’s Word, pray over your husbands and practice doing good to them!

 

I am praying right along side of you!!!!

I invite you to share today in the comment section or on Facebook, what would you add to my lists?

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Women around the world are IN THE WORD! Every Wednesday we will have a link-up. If you are a blogger we invite you to link-up any blog posts that you have written about your quiet time that week. We ask that you put our button in the post or on your sidebar so we can find each other. We do not have code for this link up button. Just right click and save as. Then link it to http://www.goodmorninggirls.org

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Love God Greatly!

 

 

 

 

 

What Does Pink-Eye Have To Do With It?

 

My life is not turning out the way I had planned.

If you’re like me, you have a picture in your mind of what your life will be like. Who you will marry, how many kids you will have and where you will live. My dream of who I was going to marry and God’s will for who I was to marry matched up….but so far that’s the only piece.

You see, I thought I’d be a boy mom!

Yep, you read that right, a boy mom. I’m four years older than my brother and so I was like a second mom to him….. much to his protest. Poor guy. Growing up I always thought God had given me my brother, Jason, as a way to prepare me for the boys that He would one day bless me with. Boy oh, boy was I wrong on that one! Instead of boys, God has blessed me with girls…..3 sweet little girls to be exact.

 

I also never thought I’d become a “blogger” and actually still to this day don’t really consider myself one. I remember when blogs first came out, I was pregnant with my first daughter and someone told me about them. I remember thinking to myself, “Who would ever do that????” Ha, God seriously has a sense of humor!

Then last week something happened that I never would have dreamed in my wildest of dreams. My friends Courtney, Ruth, Clare, Darlene, Janelle and I were all contacted by a production company!

I know, seriously crazy!

First, I did my phone interview and felt that it went well so before we finished we scheduled my Skype interview.

But let me be real honest with you…..I was humbled and honored by the contact, by the interest….but I was wrestling and struggling with the opportunity.

I was struggling because I didn’t feel like this was for me, at least not for now, not during this season of my life…maybe not ever. Yet, I wanted to be open to God’s plans for my life.

You see, I strive to live my life in obedience to my Lord so I decided to fervently pray over this matter and to proceed with the process until I felt my Lord say “No.”

I don’t for a second believe it is a coincidence this opportunity came to me at the same time we are doing the Proverbs 31 series together.

This past week as I was praying over whether or not I was to proceed with this opportunity, a few things were going through my mind:

  • I am to bring good not harm to my husband. Proverbs 31:12- She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 
My husband has a very stressful job…..a job that wears on him mentally, physically and even sometimes spiritually. My husband depends on me and when I am gone or overly busy…..it’s hard on him.
  • I am called to be his helper. (Genesis 2:20) If I were to do this, how would this be helping my husband?
  • Would this be something that would help or hurt my relationship with my husband, my children?
  • After God and then my husband, my next priorities are my children. How would this opportunity affect them?

I was struggling because on one hand I want to live my life boldly for my Lord and for my children to see. I want to respond in faith, exercising my trust by putting my faith into action. Just last week we were reading all about trusting the Lord.

Proverbs 29:25 “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it’s hard to know God’s will for your life?

I was struggling with the unknown.

I wasn’t at peace.

My mind seemed to be filled with the “What if’s”

Then the first Skype interview came and went and wasn’t able to take place, then the second Skype interview wasn’t able to happen…..both times I sat at my computer ready to go, finally the third interview was scheduled for Friday morning… then something happened.

I woke up that morning with Pink-Eye.

Seriously…….I looked like a pirate…….all I needed to say was “aye matey” and have a parrot sit on my shoulder and I could have gotten the part! My eye was swollen shut and even after cleaning it up my eye was still all puffy and well……pink!

I decided after the 3rd and final Skype attempt that this opportunity wasn’t for me and so I released it. Once I made the final decision not to go forward, I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I had complete peace with my decision.

Why did this opportunity come my way and then not be for me? I’m not really sure. From my limited perspective, I can’t see the whole picture.

What I will say is that I am excited for my friends who are going forward in the process. We are all called to play different roles in life…..some upfront and some behind the scenes…..for me personally, I’m more of a behind the scenes kinda girl anyway.
But the roles that we play in God’s story don’t matter as much as our obedience to what He is calling us to.
For me right now, in this time, at this place I am called to be a helper and partner to Dirk, a mother to my 3 small children, a blogger and friend to many and most importantly a faithful daughter to the King of kings!

I am called to be a servant and to serve……..

I love what Emily at chatting at the sky shared this week on her blog, it touched my heart…..I hope it does yours, too.

“Our souls were not made for fame. Our souls were made for the Famous One…”

Emily, I couldn’t agree with you more!

What’s important is not whether we say “yes” or “no”, what’s important is that we walk in obedience…..keeping our eyes on Jesus each step of the way………walking by faith the life that HE has planned!

Love God Greatly!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Proverbs 31 Woman ~ Week 3

Photo credit

Welcome back to week 3 in our Proverbs 31 series.

Today we are up to verses 12,13, & 14 – they say:

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

(If you cannot see this video click here.)

We see in verse 12, the Proverbs 31 woman stays true to her marriage vows. She is with her husband all the days of her life.

We see in verse 13, her attitude towards work. She works with eager hands!

And we see in verse 14, that the very basic necessity of feeding her family is a task that she does with great attention and care. She is like a merchant ship – who travels off to distant places and brings in unique cargo that you can’t just get at the corner store.

 

Recently my husband replaced our 15 year old washing machine because it had broken. So he asked me how it was working for me just this past Wednesday…it just so happened that while I was doing laundry that day, I paused, prayed and thanked God for my washing machine. I am so sincerely thankful for my washer and my 15 year old dryer. I was able to tell my husband, “I am overflowing with joy for it – I thanked God for it today!” and I thanked him for buying it for me.

In the same way, often times after grocery shopping – I pop my trunk and just pause and say a prayer of thankfulness for the trunk full of food. I have had my kids, right in the grocery store, say a sentence prayer while waiting in line – thanking God for our cart of groceries.

When we come to a massive mound of dirty laundry that we are about to tackle, I believe that pausing and thanking God that our family has all these clothes can change our perspective and help us come to our tasks with eager hands.

 

Our challenge this week:

Look at the menial tasks of doing laundry, grocery shopping and cooking as a noble task that God has called us to. Come to these tasks with an eager attitude. If this is a struggle for you – pray and ask God to help you. Get on your knees and thank God that he has provided for our basic needs of clothing and food and never stop giving thanks! Bring your kids along side of you and let them offer up a prayer of thanksgiving too.

 

Walk with the King,

, WomenLivingWell.org

 

Ornaments of the Soul

 

An excellent wife who can Find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31:10

I love a good heist movie. I love seeing all the high tech gadgets and the intricate plans that the crooks use to break into a highly guarded safe. Most of the time the thieves are after a bunch of cute shoes. Not really. They are after gold, money, or jewels because these things are worth a lot in our world.

Proverbs tells us that as precious as jewels may be, an excellent wife is worth even more. What could an excellent wife possess that makes her more precious than diamonds or rubies? It is her character, or as John A. James puts it, the “ornaments of the soul”.

I am sure I am not the only one here who likes jewels. I would love to spend an afternoon going through the Queen of England’s jewelry box, trying on her rings, necklaces and tiaras. Jewels are not only valuable but also beautiful. My eyes are drawn to them. Their color and sparkle can captivate our attention. I think it is great that God created them, but sadly our world worships these stones instead of their creator.

When the queen passes away, the pearls and sapphires that hang around her neck will fall into the hands of someone else. But, as John A. James wrote, death has no dominion over woman’s immortal spirit and those who belong to Jesus should decorate their soul with godliness “for the jewels with which it decorated itself on earth are as indestructible as its own nature and go with it to shine in the presence of God.”

What are these indestructible jewels? What names do they go by? There are many, but a few are truth, holiness, knowledge, faith, obedience, hope, love, joy, humility, wisdom, prudence, fortitude, gentleness, patience, kindness, calmness, diligence (as in not lazy), discipline, and compassion.

A good and godly woman is “more precious than jewels,” so we need to do some soul searching and find out where our character is lacking, what jewels are dulled due to neglect or are missing altogether. It is easy to end up feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. Believe me, I know, I have those feelings a lot. I have found some help from a lady who lived at the turn of the century named Charlotte Mason.

Charlotte dedicated her life to figuring out the best way to teach children. I am sure those of you who homeschool are aware of the Charlotte Mason philosophy of education.  One of the things she emphasized was habit training (or character building). Charlotte believed that it made up ⅓ of a child’s education. It wasn’t something that was only to be taught to children though, this was something that was to be a lifelong project.

So how do you train yourself (or your child for that matter) in  godly character traits?

1. Find it in Jesus.

Your hope and confidence before God is Jesus’ holiness, not your own. You must first see that you lack the godliness God desires, and must see that Jesus’ righteousness is yours as a gift. Secondly, you must realize that your growth in godliness is also wholly dependent on Jesus. Your growth in these areas will not come about by mere will-power. You must look to Jesus and depend on him for all of this, working in the power he supplies.

2. Deal with them one at a time.

Examine your life and see which jewel you would like to polish. Pick one at a time and then devote yourself to it by praying, studying and working hard and praying.

3. Pray about it – a lot

Did I mention that you should pray? Pray that God would send you encouragement. Pray that he would change you as you work on developing these Christ like ornaments for your soul. Pray for perseverance and wisdom.

4. Read all you can about it

Read every Bible verse you can find, brainstorm with friends or look online for practical ideas. Find books that cover that particular character trait and read. When we read a book (I’m not talking about Harlequin Romance books here ) it is like having someone come alongside you to help, to teach, to encourage, convict and train. We can have the voice of someone long dead help us grow in our walk with Jesus. That is exciting and great grace.

5. Practice, Practice, Practice

We have all seen little babies learn to walk. It is not easy for them. They wobble, trip and fall but over time and with much practise, walking becomes second nature. When we start working on some of the character qualities described in Proverbs 31 it may seem awkward, slow and frustrating but don’t give up. Maybe you are going to work on getting up early,  being more patient, speaking kindly or being more organized.  The more you put into practice the more second nature they will become. Don’t let a bad day (or even a bad week) get you down.

A woman whose worth is far above precious jewels is a woman whose soul is dripping with the jewels of godliness. Pick one ornament and dedicate yourself to making it a part of your godly character.

Looking to Jesus,

{Week 2} WIWW Link up Party… Father, turn our hearts toward home…

 

 

One morning last week each boy trickled down one-by-one from his night’s sleep – about fifteen minutes apart, enabling me to spend some rare one-on-one time with each of them. My husband told me once that even when he was old enough to want a little space (ok, a lot of space) from his mom, he would always let her get close to scratch his back. Even though they still want me around every minute of their awake lives, point well taken and tucked down deep in my heart.

So I scratched each back, and prayed for the young girls who will one day marry Jack Tyler, Trey Andrew and Chase Dylan. I prayed specifically, keeping in mind the personality of each boy. Each gift, and each quirk. The evident charming qualities, and, yes, the characteristics that will require much patience and forgiveness from a spouse. And I prayed that they would not take this decision lightly… the biggest decision they will make in their lifetimes, next to surrendering their lives to Jesus.

 “A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.”

~Proverbs 31:10-12

 

Prayer is powerful, but talk can be cheap.

You see, I wonder if many of you, like me, are often guilty of living double lives.  While we pray and plead with our sons to one day chase after – and our daughters to one day become – wives of noble character, we often live quite another version of that woman in front of them

Funny how we can always seem to pull off a cheery smile and a kind word to an acquaintance in the church lobby, yet we’re quick to be impatient and critical of the ones we love the most in the car on the way home.  We’re getting good at spending hours creating impressive five course meals to deliver to other families in need, only to rush home, exhausted and grumpy, with barely enough energy to warm up leftovers for our own husbands and children. Some of us busy ourselves, generously serving the church and our communities, volunteering our time to hosts of worthy causes, all the while neglecting the ministry God has given us right in our very own homes.

 

Is it wrong to bless our neighbors or engage in activities outside of our homes in an effort to be the hands and feet of Christ?  Of course not.  In fact, God’s Word commands it!  But if those activities leave us empty and unable to serve our own families well, then our priorities are going to have trouble lining up with Scripture.  I don’t know about you, but I want to be found faithful to the call God has placed on my life to be a wife that my husband can have full confidence in.  I want my children to experience a living example of a wife of noble character – right before their eyes – so that they can not only hear my words, but see Jesus in my ways, and witness the fullness of joy that comes as a result of a life lived in complete obedience to Him.

I want to turn my eyes away from the distractions of this world, and turn my heart towards my home. 

Oh friends, do you know today that your home is a powerful place of influence that God can use to further His Kingdom through you and me?!  You can make a difference right where you are!

Sound like an impossible task?  

“Jesus looked at them and said,

“With man this is impossible,

but with God all things are possible.”

~Matthew 19:26

On Monday, Angela challenged us to first fix our eyes on Jesusto ask Him to help us be the women He created us to be… and then to act upon what He shows us and make those hard changes in our lives.  Are you willing to take that first step of action today?  With God’s help, don’t delay any longer!

At His feet,

 

 

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