I married my high school sweetheart and love of my life on July 17th, 1999. I still remember the day I saw him…..I had recently moved to his school and it was during our 8th grade graduation ceremony when I first saw my future husband. He was on stage for getting only A’s all through middle school and I remember thinking, “Wow, that guy is cute and smart….I’m going to have to keep my eye on him when we get to high school!” A few years later and with God’s intervention we finally met, became friends and started dating……all in about a week! Our first double date was with Courtney and her boyfriend (future husband) Keith. By the time the above picture was taken, Dirk and I had dated 5 1/2 years. We started dating our Junior year in high school and continued all through college.
When we first started dating we were both only 17. I feel as though I have grown up with him and I LOVE THAT! Dirk has been with me through my worst of times and best of times. I have sat next to him in high school when he was talking about colleges and dreaming of one day going to medical school. And I have continued to sit next to him, supporting him, encouraging him all the way through to completion of his dream. I love our history together. I loved every step of the process. There were of course years that were hard, when we didn’t see each other very much, when we didn’t have any money, when we were both stressed and tired but we were working toward a common goal and we were a team and you want to know something….it was all worth it. One important lesson that I learned those years when Dirk was in medical school and residency was …..don’t wish them away. Live your life NOW! Enjoy the time God has given you now. God has a purpose in every stage of your life. Don’t wish your life away but enjoy where God has you. It’s the journey of life that’s the most fun. The times of not knowing God’s plan but learning to trust Him…together are so valuable. It’s during the journey of life that God continues to mold each of you together, during the times of disappointments and times of celebrations. During life’s ups and downs, God is constantly at work making each of you look more like His Son.
As I sit here tonight thinking over the years we have spent together, now with two sweet daughters and another one coming next month, I am so thankful to my Lord for giving me such a wonderful man to share my life with. I truly feel so unworthy and so thankful at the same time. Our life isn’t perfect and neither are we, but I love seeing where God started us, where He has taken us and I look eagerly to the future with my Lord, my husband and my children.
With all that said, here are a few things that I have learned these past 12 years…
1. Be the type of wife you’d want your son to be married to.
2. Smile at him.
3. Be forgiving.
4. Be direct……but kindly. Men can’t read minds and neither can we.
5. Be excited to see him when he comes home.
6. Allow him to have alone time.
7. Be an encourager.
8. Don’t nag…honestly it doesn’t work and only hurts the relationship.
9. Give him grace, you aren’t the perfect wife and he isn’t the perfect husband.
10. Pray for him and allow God to work in his life.
11. Remember you are not his Holy Spirit
12. There is only one “Prince Charming” and his name is Jesus…release your husband from the burden of fulfilling all your needs…..he can’t. Only Jesus can.
I read this list to Dirk earlier today and asked him which were his favorite points, his answer was: smiling at him and being excited to see him when he gets home.
Love God Greatly!
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