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{Week 4} Ministry of Motherhood Commentary

Today we are finishing week 4 of our Ministry of Motherhood book club! I hope you are enjoying this book club and getting as much out of it as I am! Today Courtney and I discuss what we learned from chapters 3 & 4. In your groups and here on our blog, please share your answers to the questions listed at the end of chapter 4 page 57. We always love to hear from you!

Chapter 3:

One point that struck me from chapter 3 was that Jesus affirmed people before others. I talk about this a little in the video but wanted to expound upon it further here. Speaking words of encouragement over our children is so important because they need to hear:.

  • how valuable they are to us.
  • how we see God working in their lives: forming their characters, helping them to forgive a friend or sibling who has hurt them, answering their prayers etc.
  • what makes them special…..that we love the way God made them.
  • that God has GREAT plans for their lives and we can’t wait to see what they are going to do for our Lord.
  • what makes them special
  • how blessed we feel to be their mom. Some nights when I’m putting my girls to bed I’ll say, “God is so good to me, I can’t believe He gave me my two favorite little girls in the whole world! I wouldn’t want any other little girls except you!”
  • that they are my favorite blessings and gifts from God.
  • they are answers to my prayers.

Another great quote from Sally in chapter 3 is: “How important it is, then that we mothers, shepherds of our children’s lives and hearts, choose our words to them carefully. We must deliberately aim our words at their hearts in such a way as to give our children hope, faith, strength, and also to point them toward the redeeming love of Christ. We can become the affirming voice of God to our children, just as we become a picture of his redeeming reality in their everyday lives. In this way we extend the gift of grace.”

Chapter 4:

“I have learned that maturity in Christ is not instantaneous but a slow process.” What a powerful statement and so important for us mothers to remember when dealing with our children. Sometimes I think we can expect to much from our children and we forget how long it has taken us to get to the point where we are at today. We need to remember to be patient as they grow and deepen their relationship with God. They are going to make mistakes, just like we have, but they need to learn to repent, asking for forgiveness and then move forward! We as mothers need to encourage our children in the Lord when they make mistakes.

“Giving our children this gift of forgiving grace can transform their lives by helping them understand that a relationship with God is not something that can be earned by good behavior but a free gift to be accepted with gratitude and repentance.”- Sally Clarkson

Helping our children understand that God forgives is so powerful as they begin to develop their own personal relationships with Him. That’s also why its so important for us moms to learn to extend the gift of grace to them because when we forgive our children, we are teaching them that God forgives them too. I want my children to fall in love with Jesus and know that He loves them no matter what they do. Yes, they need to strive to be like Christ each and everyday…..but on those days when they fail……like we all do…….I want them to know that they can run to Him and ask for His forgiveness and that He will forgive them and tell them to “go and sin no more”.

Now it’s your turn to share! What touched your heart the most this week as we read chapters 3 & 4? What encouraged you?

For those of you who don’t have a group yet, feel free to join Courtney and I on Facebook or Twitter each day- we will be your group for you.
Facebook: Good Morning Girls
Twitter: Courtney (@WomenLivingWell) Angela (@LoveGodGreatly)

Until next time…

Love God Greatly!

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  1. You girls are too cute!
    I want to thank you again for hosting this book club this summer! It’s been teaching me so much about myself! And it’s wild to see your highlights–nearly every time I check your posts, they have been the EXACT quotes I have underlined in my book! Affirmation and forgiving grace–in Sally’s gentle way of mothering–have been convicting for me this week! I am not perfect, why do I expect perfection from my children?!?
    Last night, my 5 year old daughter needed some discipline and I remembered Sally’s “hot chocolate” approach (and her story with Joy watching the movie together) and I had a calm conversation with my child about her own sinfulness and need for a Savior. I don’t want to be too harsh, too busy, too unaware when the time comes that she is ready to trust Christ as her personal Savior! Lord, help me, I don’t want to miss it!!!
    ~Kim A.

  2. Angela, you are SO beautiful… loving the bump! As the mother of four girls, I know you are truly blessed to be expecting a third. AS for the name thing.. I named my first after her dad, Brianna, the others were named after Saints I admired and the last was named by her sisters, Lillie, she was just like a pretty little flower when she was born so she also got the name Rose. Funny, it just fits.. maybe you’ll find a name that fits your baby in the right time too.

    I wrote a long-winded post on Wednesday about these two chapters. I can’t begin to thank you and Courtney enough. I do believe that God has lead me to the people I need to learn from and I have learnt so much. Specifically that, its not too late to become the mother God wants me to be and, that through Him and the examples of motherhood set before me, I can break the patterns of parenthood passed down through the generations.

    For me, the best part of it is that I AM slowly changing and that quotation from Sally in Chapter 4 “maturity in Christ is not instantaneous but a slow process”, applies to my situation, yet I can look forward to knowing that it WILL happen!

    God Bless you both and bless Sally too for all that you do to bring truth to others.

    Love & Blessings to you all!

  3. I am loving this study! Thank you for all the wonderful resources. I did want to share that though I answered all the questions, I explained to my group that I would not be posting my answers to #5, as I felt it would be disloyal to my children, whether they were to read it or not. I would not want them to post their grievances against me! :) Just a thought.

  4. Watching you two is such a joy for me… better than my cup of coffee! Thank you for all you do.I wanted to add something about Sally’s Hot Chocolate story… when she said she began to list for him why he was special to her, it reminded me of a scrapbook page I read about (on Ali Edwards blog) Where she adds journaling to a current picture and then lists “what I love about you right now”. I like the idea of putting our words of affirmation down in writing so that not only will my children get to reffer back, but me as a mom to a reheaded 18 month old will remember how much joy I found in my daughters strong will to climb stairs or put a puzzle together. I know for me how much I treasure the cards, notes, blog comments, and even Fb posts that my loved ones say about me… powerful!

  5. Kim- I LOVE Sally’s gentle way of mothering too! Not expecting perfection from my children or myself has actually drawn me closer to God. It’s so funny you mentioned your story about your daughter because I meant to mention a story about my daughters and how God brought that same story to mind when they were acting up. I loved it too!

    Lisa Maria- Ohhh I so appreciate you and your constant sweet words of encouragement! Wish I could meet you in real life and give you a hug! ;) I love it that with God it is never to late to turn to Him and make changes in our lives. We are all in a constant “maturing” process.

    Cheryl- Ohhh I completely understand! That’s totally fine! :)

    Kristy- Ohhh you’re so sweet and funny! :) I LOVE the scrapbook page idea that you shared!!! I need to do that! Would you mind sharing this idea on our Facebook page? I’d love for other women to hear about it too!

    Thank you sweet friends for all your kind comments today! I love going through this book club with each of you!

    You are prayed for today!

    Love God Greatly!

  6. That was awesome. I so enjoyed it!! And my vote for a name is definitely, “Step Mother” Love that! LOL!

  7. Ahhh thanks Darlene! :) My sweet girls sure are trying to name their sister….I’m just starting to wonder with the names they are picking if they are really wanting to sabotage her??!!! Hahaha!! Totally kidding! :) I’m loving every minute of it! :)

    Love God Greatly!

  8. I’m really loving this bible study. So glad I found it! Sometimes I find things hard to relate too – like forgiving our children. My son is only 6 months old so he has not yet done anything I need to forgive him for. :o) But I am learning a lot and I am applying it to other areas of my life. Thank you!

  9. Christina says:

    I just want to say, Angela, you are adorable! Love that little baby bump! You girls are so great, and it has been such a blessing to study Ministry of Motherhood with you. I love your insights, and I’m thankful for how natural and real the two of you are. Thank you for everything you do!

  10. Oh, wow~ at around 6 minutes into your chat here, I got the biggest lightbulb moment. Courtny, you said something about, well, when the dcs are older, then, what can we take away, THEN when we feel we need to discipline them? The grace approach, of reaching their hearts with kindness, I just NEVER seem to do, and I really, really need to cultivate this, to give myself permISSION to breathe, knock out a little more time for this. ALso, Permission to do this approach within a large family is DAUNTING. I grew up in a home one of only two children, and my folks made a huge deal about giving everything out equally. When I now have 6 dcs, 12 eyes watching what will mom do?~ it can feel wrong to use grace in a situation because I think I have to use it in every situation…does that make sense? Wow. So. Have to rethink. Thank you ladies for all of this content xoxo Jenny

  11. I am SO grateful that I found you girls and your precious ministry. I had been praying that God would lead me to the perfect Bible study for this summer, and within a day found your site. I already loved Sally Clarkson and had this book, waiting for the perfect time to read it. LOVE how God ordains things to fall together at just the right time in our lives:-)

    I am the Mommy to two precious girls, 12 and 14, and have been struggling so much with regret at the passage of time and worry that I have done everything “right”. The scriptures from week 3 about having a peaceful heart and no agitation in your spirit refreshed me and reminded me that God has every single day under control. I can’t begin to tell you what a difference I am feeling in my spirit and the hope that I am filled with.

    What beautiful reminders Sally shared about the grace God has for us, and offering it to our children. I have been so burdened that if I ever let something “go” or don’t punish enough, my girls will be “ruined”, and these chapters offered me such grace for myself… reminding me that I am not the Holy Spirit to my girls. He is speaking to them, and I don’t need to be the constant voice of nagging and correction to reach their hearts. WOW! Love that God always has the answer for us and will provide it willingly when we have ears to hear and a spirit to seek Him.

    You girls are beautiful, inside and out, and I am so thankful for the time and energy you give to this ministry. Thank you :-)

  12. I am really grateful for the ministry you two have, also. I appreciated your video discussion of these chapters quite a bit. Courtney, I loved your honesty about how easy it is to focus on the negative with your children and how you want to learn show kindness and gentleness….I can totally relate as I have an 8yr old son whose attitude can be quite a challenge and some days I feel like I am failing to reach his heart. Thank you for the reminder that I can’t be his HS and that I need to pray about these things instead of trying to force change, and show kindness that will lead to repentance.
    Angela, I appreciated your input about speaking words of encouragement and affirmation over our children–very helpful.
    Thanks again, girls, for initiating this and allowing us to be a part of it!

  13. Discussion of c. 4
    1. Romans 2:4 says that its his KINDNESS that leads to repentance. I believe that when my children are acting crazy and I desire their change of heart that that is the time I need to draw on his power to be humble not harsh, loving not livid and persuasive with gentle words of love. That’s not possible in my own strength!! But he promises that “He has given us everything we need for life and godliness.”
    2. I think extending grace to my kids as Jesus did w/ Peter’s failure means not necessarily with holding consequences to their sin, but offering forgiveness and treating them gently… I notice that especially T will try to deceive me if he senses that I’m going to be really upset with him. I need to work on gentleness so that they expect it and have an open door to expose their sin.
    3. After Jesus confronts Peter w/the fact that he wd deny Christ, he talks about how he will receive him. Its like he has already forgiven him before Peter does it. I need to work on maintaining an attitude of acceptance of my children at all times esp. when they have stepped out of the “blessing circle”.
    4. As I faithfully discipline and correct my children, I need to maintain this gentle attitude in order to give them the gift of grace/forgiveness.

  14. Thank you for this video!
    I appreciate your REAL hearts and REAL struggles… I’ve been really pondering and working through the grace concept in my home this week. It’s a strange feeling to be the tender gentle guide, not a harsh mama who lets nothing slip.
    I’m glad we’re not alone and these foreign concepts that Jesus set for us can be a journey together. :)


  1. [...] Week 4: Ministry of Motherhood Commentary Chapters 3 & 4- Courtney & Angela [...]

  2. [...] my hands and yell “Why?!”. But then I stopped for a moment. I’m also doing the Ministry of Motherhood study, and it has been teaching me a LOT about offering LOVE and GRACE in situations with my [...]

  3. […] Week 4: Ministry of Motherhood Commentary Chapters 3 & 4- Courtney & Angela […]

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