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I Don’t Need a Spa – I Need Solitude!

I am thinking about the power of solitude. Solitude is something mommies with little ones rarely get. In the part of my life I call B.C. (before children) it was not difficult to get times of solitude. But once I brought my first baby home from the hospital, I realized my life was changed forever! I remember showering with the bouncy seat right outside the shower curtain. I remember peaking out to be sure my little boy was okay and there he’d sit in the bouncy seat, happy as a lark with the shower noise and steam delighting him. My solitude was gone!

I remember a time when my children were littler, they’d push notes and toys under the bathroom door (the crack was large in our old house lol!) Needless to say – I’ve learned that mothering is an intense – around the clock job and solitude is not something that happens to a mom – it’s something we have to seek out.

I have learned that I must be purposeful to get alone with God daily. It is in my times of solitude that God refuels me and I can hear him speak. I can find order in the midst of chaos and connect with my creator.

Solitude is powerful. Moms – are you getting enough of it? If you are feeling inpatient, irritable, bitter, forgetful, disorganized or disconnected from God – it’s time to take care of your soul in a time of solitude. Grab your Bible and get alone with God.

Jesus has set us an example to follow.
  • Jesus inaugurated his ministry by spending 40 days alone in the desert (Matthew 4:1-11).
  • Before Jesus chose the 12 disciples he spent the entire night alone (Luke 6:12).
  • When the disciples had finished a long day with the crowds Jesus instructed them “Come away, by yourselves to a lonely place” (Mark 6:31).
  • Following the healing of a leper Jesuswithdrew to the wilderness and prayed” (Luke 5:16)
  • And Jesus was alone again when he was transfigured (Matthew 17:1-9) and before his death in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36).

    If Jesus, who is God, needed solitude then certainly we do also. When we forgo our own needs, including our own need for solitude, we not only shortchange ourselves but our families also.

Here are some ways I have been able to find solitude in my own life.

1. For about 4 years I have risen by 6am so I can have time alone with God in prayer and scripture before the rest of the family awakes.

2. When the children were little I set the timer on my oven for 30 minutes every morning around 9am while the kids were still fresh. I had my daughter play in the playpen while my son played in his room. This taught my children how to appreciate solitude also! (This did take some time of training – starting at 5 to 10 to 15 minute intervals – working them up to 30 minutes of being able to play alone without calling for me.)

3. When the children were little, I lined up their nap times so they were both asleep at the same time – some days this felt like a work of art.

4. On days when we are home all day long, I still give my children (ages 5 and 7) a one hour “roomtime” (in place of naptime). It’s usually around 3pm. They look at books and play alone. It’s a peaceful rest time in our house. We all get a break from each other and I see that it really does refresh us all.

5. When the children were younger my husband would travel sometimes for a week straight. On those weeks, I had a sitter come once a week for 3 hours in the afternoon during the overlap of the kids nap times so I could actually leave the house and breathe fresh air without 2 children, 2 sippy cups, 2 snacks, toys and stress!!! I ran necessary errands and then always finished my time off at the library or Starbucks with my Bible and journal in hand. These were sweet moments of solitude that I savored!

6. Now, I take advantage of evening hours, once the kids are in bed, to sneak away to my bed for a moment of solitude with scriptures.

we don’t need a spa (although I’m not against it lol!)! We need solitude with Jesus!

Walk with the King!


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  1. Thank you Courtney, in the busyness of the days with lil ones I do get to the point of feeling totally exhausted with all the requests made of me.
    You made me smile with the notes under the toilet door ! – cute :) I often have a lil helper in the shower!
    My hubby has his away week (he is home one week and away the whole next week for work) and it is especially challenging in those weeks- i like your practical mummy time out tips!

  2. I agree 110%! I always see a change in my disposition when I seek solitude:-).

  3. This post reminds me of a devotion I wrote several years ago. It is right along the same topic.

    My Australian online friend led me to your site. Because of coming here and finding some words that resonated with my spirit, I am getting back on track in spending more time in the Word and in prayer.

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